A lot of people have either been the culprit or have fallen in love with emotionally lazy spouses. It’s a popular topic of discussion, but many people have not taken the step to discuss this. In your love journey, have you ever felt like your emotional needs are not well taken care of by your spouse? I mean, like you are the one investing a lot of your energy in the relationship, and yet your partner is just not reciprocating the same.
It’s a heartbreaking experience. A lot of emotionally lazing individuals always describe themselves as “emotionally unavailable,” Or You will hear them say, “I am practical,” “I am a realistic.” They are not willing to put a lot of effort into there to be emotional growth.
Know The Exact Meaning Of Emotionally Unavailable Man
Emotionally unavailable men are often introverts who have a hard time dealing with their emotions. They find it easier to communicate things that has no emotional impact on them. For the fear of getting hurt so they avoid anything that could potentially give them pain.
So, don’t let him put himself in a situation where he can be trapped by his fear of intimacy and losing your attention. If you are there and don’t know how an emotionally lazy person behaves or what signs will show you that this person is emotionally lazy. I am here to share with you some of the character traits:
10 Signs Of An Emotionally Unavailable Man – Details
1. Don’t Know How To Communicate
Why is he/she not calling or even texting? If you have ever found yourself in this situation, then you are falling in love with an emotionally unavailable person. They always assume it’s your responsibility to take a step and call them, or the relationship will be just fine without communicating. To disappointments, this is just not the case, as the other person will feel neglected and uncared for.
2. Speaks But Fails To Show Actions
Emotionally unavailable person is good at speaking, but when it comes to showing actions, they are total failures. He/she will fail to keep his/her words, particularly when it comes to things that matter to you. Similarly, they will not emotionally support you during hard times, although they promised to be there for you.
3. Not Ready To Sit Down And Address Disagreements
Emotionally lazy people always think by saying “I am sorry” will wipe out all the hurtful things they have done or said. They expect that once they say “I am sorry,” you will understand and forgive them for what they did. If you fail to understand, they will start judging you and make you feel troublesome and unforgiving. They are not ready to sit down and solve the real problem until they gain forgiveness.
4. They Are Less Romantic
Emotionally lazy people will fail to send a flower or take on a date to mark that anniversary. They lack sweet words or gestures to tell or show you on your special day.
Most of the time, they will hide behind the guise of being practical or rational. “I am sorry I’m not an emotional person” you will hear them say this. You will see them being emotional over this, expressing anger, sadness, etc. Isn’t this surprising? Or they have an issue with good emotions?
When you see couples happy, then you have to know that those people have sacrificed a lot in their relationship. A great relationship takes a lot of effort. It’s your responsibility to raise some spark.
Aside from physical attraction crucial in any relationship, it would be best to have that closeness with your partner. The more you communicate and bond with each other, the close you will feel and ultimately learn more about each other.
6. A Lot Of Blame Games
Regardless of the problem, an emotionally unavailable person will find a way to turn things around and blame you. They will say you’re the cause and source of the problem. Their excuses are acceptable, and yours are unacceptable. Even when all the evidence points to them, they will become defensive.
7. They Show Up Late or Blow Off Plans
Emotionally unavailable person will not prioritize the relationship. He will constantly show up late for dinner or show up late in a special event. All they care about is solving their needs first and then join you later on. They always have trouble restructuring their life to fit you into them simply. In other words, they are not ready to set aside some of their works to be with you.
From a lady’s perspective, every woman wants a man who gives her some affirmation. Ladies want you to show them you love them; they want to feel your care. But this doesn’t mean just materialism. Doing some little things like texting or calling her to say “I love you” will give her some degree of affirmation that you genuinely love them. Sometimes posting her picture on social media shows how much you love them. Emotionally lazy people will never do these things.
9. Everything Is Just About Them
Emotionally lazy people will always see everything thing or situation is about them. For instance, even when it’s their partner’s birthday or special day, they will always think all is about them. A good relationship is built on couples supporting each other dreams. Lazy partners are not ready to share the spotlight. They see everything is all about them.
10. They Fail To Make Plans
Emotionally unavailable people fail to make plans or commitments. Maybe you suggest you meet next week; they will disappoint by telling you to wait and see if they have time.
They don’t just want to sacrifice and meet you. They will always have excuses. “ I was held up that is why I did not make it” Relationship is about sacrificing each other time to come and see your partner.
Some Tips To Improve The Communication With Emotionally Unavailable Man
Be A Good Listener
Especially the term “active listening” can be applied here, which means that you have to not only listen to what he says but also ask him questions immediately after he speaks, repeat back to her what he said, and then ask open-ended questions about his feelings.
Learn To Listen Without Becoming Defensive
If he starts to feel like the conversation is an argument, he’ll stop listening and retreat into his fortress. Even if your boyfriend doesn’t want to talk about a particular issue, let him know that you’re available for him when he’s ready to discuss it. Remember to be patient, you might need to give him the space he needs to open up.
Let Them Know You Are There For Them
Encourage him to talk about his feelings and thoughts without a judgmental attitude. When you don’t make him feel as if he has to defend himself from your opinions, he’ll be more likely to open up about his feelings. By staying calm and not asking too many probing questions, you let him know that the topics you discuss are safe ground.
Fix A Time For Discussing About Their Feelings
By expressing your support and interest in his life, he will feel more relaxed when opening up about himself. The key is to make it clear that you are not trying to analyze him or give advice. Set a time for discussing issues to know him more and understand him better.
Sometimes it is hard to approach someone and say they want to talk, make an arrangement with them on when you can discuss your feelings properly; for example a date, a time etc.
Avoid Being Judgmental, Critical or Sarcastic
Sometimes emotionally unavailable men don’t like to open up because they are afraid of your judgment or that you might reject them; if he feels uncomfortable, then there is no way for him to open up. Let him know that he doesn’t have anything to fear in opening up with you by showing that you are not judging his thoughts or feelings in any way. If he feels comfortable, he will be more likely to open up.
Continue Being Friends
If your man feels that opening up to you may result in losing your friendship, then he’s just going to avoid the only person that can understand his feelings. By being a caring and supportive friend to him, you might encourage him to open up instead of avoiding the conversation all together.
Frequently Asked Question:
What Causes An Emotionally Unavailable Man?
An emotionally unavailable man is not going to fall head over heels in love with you after your first date, and there’s a high probability he won’t even like you. The problem with Disney movies is that they’re far too unrealistic, and making us believe that love is easy. Love takes work, it’s not always fun and games. It can even be downright difficult sometimes.
How Do You Talk To Someone Who Is Emotionally Unavailable?
The best thing to do is keep him guessing. Don’t give too much away about yourself and keep your cards close to your chest. Make him work for your affection. Show him that he needs to invest time into the relationship, otherwise you have no interest in being with him.
How Do You Get Emotionally Unavailable Men To Open Up?
You will have to work to make your relationship a success. If you’re not willing to put in the effort, then don’t bother. You need to show him that you’re not just going to sit back and wait for him to take the lead all the time.
How Do You Get an Emotionally Unavailable Man to Commit?
You have to show him that you’re the kind of woman who is willing to put in the work to make things happen. Don’t sit around waiting for him to make all of the plans every time you hang out, because he won’t. You need to take the lead from time to time, and plan your own dates. He needs to realize that you’re not afraid of commitment and hard work. If he thinks that you’re going to wait around for him to take initiative all the time, then he’s not going to want anything serious with you.
What phrases Do Emotionally Unavailable Men Hate Hearing?
He doesn’t want to hear you telling him that things will get better. That’s not what he wants to hear, because he knows that it won’t happen overnight. He won’t change overnight, and you need to realize that. You’re going to need to stop expecting things from him. If you expect the relationship to go somewhere, then you’re just setting yourself up for disappointment
Emotional laziness is a real problem in many relationships. A good relationship is built on couples complementing each other. It should not be one-sided. The most important thing is to agree that there is a problem and then take some steps in trying to solve it.
Take vital steps and always remember that the more you are involved in the relationship, the more you will solve any problem, and the more the relationship will grow. Don’t be egocentric; complement your partner and try to be your partner’s keeper.